Cinderela’s story: A story of finding the right shoes.

Well, as not like other Indonesians (again… I am not like any other Indonesians) and my friends who can easily buy their stuffs and things in common stores, I have a slightly different size (to who know my size hehehehhe keep quite please…..) and from the beginning of my new trisemester I just realized that I do not have any shoes that can fit properly for my graduation…..C’mon..should I wear my dress with my sport shoes or my slipper? Hihihih that’s my first thought.

Then, I made a complaint to my friends and they replied it by said you are lucky in Australia now, find the shoes with your size…(ehem special size actually). So…the hunt for the right shoes was started…..but it is not easy like everyone said…many stores I entered and no size of mine! together with my friend we hunted the shoes but we were looking for definitely contrary necessity…..that makes the shopkeepers got headache hihihih….. If I saw a right size shoes, whether the colour or the price was not right….or the other side….but never expect too much…almost gave up.

Finally, the search ended up when last week I found my shoes and just near to my place……even I considered it still quite expensive if I converted into my currency (always…..cheap taste…hihihih) because I bought two pairs, one for official events and one for casual one. And those were not the end of my shopping shoes, since the store is so close to my place, there is a possibility I can shop more……just everyone else to do…..(justification…..)

Confession from deep inside of my heart

When I saw the picture, I am surprised that you are not changed so much…I still can recognize you and suddenly all the memories came back and I cannot help my self to smile and laugh if I remembered at that time (while in back…song ‘heart of mine ‘by Bobby Caldwell played…).

People will say that I put too much on my expectation if I told this situation but I did it in purposes because I believe that this is only dream that never come true and I used it to encourage my self at least at the same level of your achievements. You are too good to be truth but I needed that. You were the reason I woke up early and eased my laziness if I felt reluctant to go for my lecture.

Believe it or not, you are one of many role models that I have. I planned myself to become just like you……fluent in English, graduated from advanced level of our internal institution, had a professional degree and title, strong and charismatic personality and combined with a bit of arrogant and high self confident while still in good looking and charming.

Wow…fifth ten years ago and how times flied so fast……..hihihihi..it seems I fall in again….


PS: dedicated to him and please my best friends who knew this story….stop laughing.

My Motto: Conquer yourself, Do not expect too much, Expect for nothing but be grateful for whatever you received it.

You must be wondering how come I can define and put a quite long quote for my motto of life and the reason why, but those are what I got from my experiences. No kidding. Those motto made me who am I now. Some people said I am too independent, highly self confidence and maybe some people thought that I am quite arrogant by stating that. But I am telling you, it is not easy to have enough confidence and independent, always look at positive side and optimistic but at the same time must put your self in other people position, humble, caring for other, not materialistic and comprehend other and also not judging others and always open minded.

First, conquer yourself means that you can do anything, there are no limitation of that but sometimes you (or in this case, myself) always make reasons not to do that actually can do. It also teaches you to comprehend and understanding more about yourself and found the way to reduce or erase the obstacles that come from inside you (or me) like if you always delay your tasks, you know you will involve in trouble if the due date come and maybe in order to conquer yourself, you (or me) will make schedule, try to finish the tasks a little by a little, make a preparation and hopefully the tasks will be finished on time. Furthermore, the motto gave me encourage to try everything (in positive things) and nothing wrong to try accept that you will gain your skills and experiences and trust me: practice makes perfect.

Second, do not expect too much, hmmm what can I say? This motto is really really helping me a lot to cover the reality. I never have so big difficulties. Life is sooo easy for me and I try to make as an easiest way to get the solution over my problems. Thank God, I think I am far from stressed and as a return, you will face the life more easily and hopefully life will give you back its kindness. The last motto is be grateful and that is not easy to do. We (read: me) are humans and like to make comparison with each other as a result you feel deficiencies for everything. I did that sometimes, but then I started to counting my lucks and kindness from God…(wow I got so many…) and then I feel safe and comfortable with what I have now.

Learning from your own experience is the best teacher that the adage said but for me, the bad or even the worse experiences should not be experienced by yourself, you can learn those from others and hope you never have those same situations. Being an observer to other people and trying to understand what the reasons behind others’ actions are my favorites. There are so many people that we can learn from them, put the bad ones and take the positive one. Never underestimate other people and take attention to common people and low ranks in the organization because we can learn more from them and they are sometime more welcome than higher ranks people or important people (of course..).

Well, hopefully my sharing can help others and tell you the reason why I became what I am now.

Ramadhan: The Blessing month

Time flies so fast and now is the 16^th day of Ramadhan, the first experience of fasting far from families, friends and familiar surroundings in Tweed Heads, Australia. Fortunately, this Ramadhan is in Spring (or still winter because is soo cold), the fasting time just like in Indonesia from 4.30 am to 5.30 (or around that), but there are so many differences in here.

First, I think I am the only one in my class that do fasting, so I still can smell good coffee in the class (my fortune heh) and all people still busy to do their lunch and their activities with food and drink and even just now in my university, we had fusion day that presented international student’s cultural that, of course, including to provide different tastes of foods from different countries (hiksss..). but never mind, I must survive.

Second, I missed my families (Bapak, Mama, my sisters and brother). Sahur is the most important time, it looks like we catch up each other and share our experiences and stories from workplaces or schools. Ramadhan is the time when my friends and I made appointments to break fasting together (Epoy, Yanti, Didi, Saumty, Dewo). But, in here, I did it my self (so empthy…) and for breaking fasting hiks..(gosh.. I am bored with my own cooking heheheh). Lucky me, at the first day of fasting, I was invited to join Mrs Fauziah and her friends at her restaurant (Ms. Fauziah is the frontier of Indonesian citizen in Gold Coast that owned Indonesian restaurant, Bali Hut that closed to Twin Town ..thank you mam.. It made me feel I have family in Australia).

Third, I missed adzan and all telly programs that accompanied us when we take sahur or break our fasting. Again, after eight months I never heard and missed a lot of adzan, we (Inca, bude and I) were invited to join breaking fasting at the 6^th day of ramadhan in Arundel Mosque close to Southport by Mrs Fauziah. We lifted BMW (what a fancy car...for real). All my thirst and hunger of adzan fulfilled and of course, my stomach (hihihi…) and not mentioned so many handsome men (ups..).

Fourth, this is a dangerous one, because the weather changed from Winter to Spring and this is my first experience of the weather, I must make adjustment of it and believe it or not, I always feel cold and when I am cold, I will feel hungry and because this month is fasting, I cannot eat or drink and then I feel dizzy and cannot think or study because after finished two classes on Tuesday, I got headache (well, I am not blaming the fasting month). The solution is I must study after breaking fasting but (again… making reason) I feel sleepy.

Basically, I missed ramadhan’s ambience in Indonesia where we celebrate Ramadhan together. Well, another question for me: where I should pay my “zakat fitrah” then (another homework for me).

Book Reflection: Twilight in Djakarta by Mochtar Lubis

I found this book in Tweed Library “Bruce Graham Library” with cost only A$ 1 for three novel books. It is a translation book from Senja di Djakarta. By reading the title(and nice cover book) I knew that this is the old book, translated by Claire Holt and published by Oxford university Press (imagine…Oxford...) in 1963. The first impression was this book like other culture book, I thought, just light reading that to entertain purpose only, but I wrong.

Just last night I finished the book after I ignored it for almost two weeks (well, actually I should finish my assignment but the book tempted me more…..). The story’s background was Jakarta in year 1960 when Indonesia is still looking the best form of governing the country (I think it is still up to now). After finished it, I got conclusion that the story scared me, really…I do not making it up…because it talked about reality…not just the past reality but it can apply to present reality or maybe the future (gosh…I hope not).

Basically, the story tells about corruption, how rich people can get wealthier with only the easiest way (another fraud) while the poor people works very hard just to fulfill their basic need (just for food), how servant service traps in corruption circle because of wife’s demand and the other person works without get any compensation that made his wife cheat on him, how young people tries to contribute to their country instead of only ended in meeting without any action, how dirty the politic and how great effect of the press and what happens if the press can be misused to gain themselves and women were only means and always be a STD (sexual transmitted disease). Oh so terrified…..

I saw repetition here…and I can only just pray…please…not again. What is written in the book should be not only a warning and a big red alert but also became a guideline for not to do like the way they did to our country.

When you feel a satisfaction…*

As a normal person, you and me, we have our needs and wants and that will give different results of satisfaction. The level of satisfaction depends on many things, commonly the more wealthy you are, the more difficult you get your satisfaction because you are becoming a demanding person that has higher standard of wants and needs…. but it depends on the personal. And because we just a human being, I believe that our satisfaction will never be met as long as we still have wants.

In one side, there is a positive effect to put high on wants and needs, it means that you must work hard and create extra effort ( hi this is a familiar term in my office..) to reach and get your needs and wants and that is never ending story. On the other side, sometimes we feel so tired, stress, hopeless, desperate, defeated, lonely, loser, and others negative feeling and those can ruin you and your self confidence. So dangerous….

How about we reverse our thought, do not state our expectation and target to measure level of satisfaction but let’s count what is our achievements and try to be grateful of what we got. Hmmm..yes.. I agree with you that you will be surprised of that.

So friends...to make it simple...let's be grateful by counting what we already got but not we should get....isn't it easy? what do you think...


*) the question came from judge from Miss Universe 2008, I think she is the winner.

Introduction

Today, 12 July 2008 in the middle of Legal studies' workshop, I decided to start writing each chapter of my life. I just believed that it will help my self to make an evaluation for past, present and future and also hopefully for others, my friends and relatives, my honorable colleagues and lecturers, my juniors and seniors.

I give this blog title as a thesis because for me, life consists of so many chapter and every time, we must responsible of what we did and ready to defend our reason to convince other people or if it is possible influence them to follow our paths. Wow.. it is serious ..eh... it does not matter actually.. I just want to give that name to my blog, maybe I can change it later...(or not).

Let's hope I will regularly write in this blog and it can be my mean of control to practice doing the writing. I taught that I already good on writing but when I wrote for my first assignment in MPA course ...wpueh.. I almost got new title as plagiarist (wow though heh) that shook me and made me not sleeping for 2 days. So, this blog will become my place to practice my writing ability (since this is my weakness in IELTS results) and to inform others to aware on something.

I try to make myself enjoy and again I hope my writing can entertain myself and readers.

And there....let's the the journey..ups the thesis begins...